Sunday, February 5, 2012

Just a Moment

Life is full of moments. Fleeting like wisps of smoke on a dying fire. They come faster than you can realize and are over before you can react to them.

This journey started a long time ago. Through all the adversity and the turmoil I have to believe that God's hand has been all of it. A couple months ago I had an allergic reaction to something I ate. It literally was one of the scariest moments in my life. My entire body had swollen up, my skin was covered with blister like hives, and I was the color of Bob the tomato.

My heart rate dropped below 40- I started having seizures, and I blacked out. In that moment I was walking with two other people. We were walking in a field. It was the most peaceful place I had ever been.

I was probably just in a dream, you know one of those dreams that find you in between being awake and sleeping. One of those dreams you have right as you are waking up, you know the ones that feel like they are real and you just can't shake them as you come to the full realization it's just a dream?

Regardless of the "vision" I had to face my mortality. I had to think about what life for my family would be like if I wasn't here.

These thoughts are not happy, but they help me to realize that they have to live life without me often when I choose not to be home. There isn't a paycheck big enough and there isn't enough prestige to miss those wisps of smoke that is my kids lives or the beauty that God has given me in my wife.

I have dreams of ministry, and changing the world. My first dream, and subsequently my first calling and purpose, is to be a great dad and an amazing father.

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